All you gotta do is say YES!

Today, I picked a book from my bookshelf that I haven’t read in a very long time: How to Train a Wild Elephant, a book filled with mindfulness practices for living more fully and joyfully.

Typically, my morning routine consists of prayer, reading my Bible, or listening to music. But today, I felt a little different—in my mind and in my body. I couldn’t quite explain why. Some days, you just want to break up the monotony, so I reached for a book on my shelf. This was the one I chose.

I opened it to a page I had previously marked and read before. While the words sounded good to my ears, they didn’t quite land the way I’m sure they did the first time. I wanted more. So I flipped through the pages and landed on a practice called “Say Yes.”

The practice invites us to say yes to everyone and everything that happens, while noticing the impulse to disagree or say no.

That landed. As I read the words, they seemed to diffuse through me. I paused and thought, Can I agree with others and with what is happening in my life?—granted, of course, that it isn’t dangerous to my well-being or anyone else’s.

When I consider the last few years of my life, where I am currently, and where I’d like my future to be, my answer is: yes. Maybe. LOL.

Out of sheer self-preservation, and in an effort to honor my capacity and boundaries, my first inclination with certain people, places, and things is to say no. Especially when something doesn’t immediately align with what I want or what feels comfortable.

But this practice challenged that way of thinking, not because I don’t have the right to say no—I absolutely do. But sometimes, when I say no, I’m not only saying no to a person, situation, or experience. I may also be saying no to a version of myself that needs to say yes in order to grow, expand, and move toward a life that feels more fulfilling and joyful.

The practice asks us to notice our thoughts as they begin forming defenses. To notice how quickly we can move toward a stance of negativity or opposition.

And honestly, I think this is especially relevant in today’s world- we are constantly being bombarded with requests, we’ve encountered selfish people, we’ve been disappointed, hurt, manipulated, or burned. Sometimes we’ve just simply been through so much that anything outside of our comfort zone can feel like a threat so “no” ends up becoming second nature.

But if I want more out of this one life—and if we aren’t meant to do life completely alone then I’m going to have to start saying yes to some people, experiences, opportunities, and possibilities.

In mindfulness practice, we talk about aversion, which is a strong feeling of dislike, resistance, or opposition toward something. In meditation, we might be invited to turn toward the thing we are resisting and simply become the witness. From that perspective, a little space is created between us and the thing.

Here we can begin to observe it without immediately judging it or becoming attached to the story we’ve created. When we do that, we begin to see the thing for what it actually is which may have very little to do with us at all.

We can then offer compassion and/or sit with the emotions that arise allowing us to become curious about what’s underneath the resistance. Because sometimes our aversion is protecting something deeper opening us to turn that same compassion toward ourselves. That, to me, creates an opportunity for something deeper: love, acceptance, and the ability to truly see ourselves.

It’s absolutely fascinating to me how the mind works so often, the thinking mind is simply trying to keep us safe and when we say no, we may very well be asserting ourselves from a place of safety and self-preservation.

But this practice asks another question: Is this one of those moments when safety is actually needed? I absolutely love that question!

And as I prepare to take another trip around the sun, I think I’m going to explore it more deeply. This new chapter of my life feels hopeful, exciting, expressive, and I believe it is asking me to say YES!

Maybe this is exactly what my spirit was calling for when I woke up this morning feeling like I needed something different. Something more.

I’m glad I didn’t ignore that feeling- instead I became curious about what else might be available to me what might spark a new awareness, a new perspective, or even a new version of myself.

This is one of the reasons why I believe a morning routine is so important. I could have gotten on my phone and started scrolling or I could have filled the quiet with noise or distracted myself with something else. Instead, I noticed that something felt different in my mind and body—and I listened.

That is part of the healing journey -It’s not all Pilates, smoothies, and beauty treatments.

Sometimes healing looks like noticing that something inside of you feels off and being willing to pause long enough to listen for the answer.

Today was eye-opening and honestly, it was fun to learn.

I can’t wait to share with you all the things I’m saying yes to—and even some of the things I’m saying no to I don’t have to erase one to embrace the other.

This isn’t about becoming a person who says yes to everything it’s about becoming more aware of where I can open up, where I can soften, where I can trust, and where I can allow my life to expand me.

Maybe the real practice isn’t simply learning to say yes, maybe it’s learning to become curious about the space between yes and no.

And in this next chapter, I’m ready to explore.

Live Lite,

Safia

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What does “saying yes” mean in mindfulness practice?

“Saying yes” means becoming more open to people, experiences, and situations while noticing the instinct to resist or say no. It encourages curiosity about what may be possible beyond our usual comfort zone.

2. Does saying yes mean ignoring personal boundaries?

No. Safia emphasizes that we always have the right to say no, especially when our safety or well-being is at risk. The practice is about becoming more aware of when resistance is necessary and when it may be limiting growth.

3. How can mindfulness help with aversion and resistance?

Mindfulness encourages us to notice resistance without immediately judging or reacting to it. By creating space between ourselves and our thoughts, we can become curious about what is underneath the resistance and respond with greater compassion.

4. How can saying yes support personal growth and healing?

Saying yes to the right experiences, opportunities, and possibilities can help us step outside our comfort zones, discover new perspectives, and become more open to growth. Safia describes this as learning where to soften, trust, and allow life to expand us.

Safia Pulliam invites you to step beyond “yes” and “no” and into the space where healing, curiosity, and possibility begin. ✨ Discover what becomes possible when you pause, listen within, and dare to say YES to a life that wants to expand you.