happy birthday Safia!

It’s my Birthday!!!! I thank God for another year around the sun! My Leo sun is shining and I’m radiating all the energy that comes with it.

I can’t believe I’m in my 40’s, like how did we get here! Last year I lo-key dropped my age but this year I ain’t telling ya’ll nothing ifykyk!

I always heard that the 40’s are the best years and now that I’m in them I can wholeheartedly agree, 40’s are the VIBE everyone said they were!

The way I have felt a freedom, a maturity, a unbothered sense of self that I never fully felt before.

I’ve lived many different lives in my 40+ years and despite all I’ve experienced and been through these feel like my best years yet!

So with that I’m going to share with you my TOP 40+ lessons! The top 40+ things I’ve learned that have got me through the years of my life.

#1 Be yourself- This one is so much easier said than done especially if you haven’t been in environments that validate and encourage who you are. However once you get to your 40’s the real you is now screaming to come out allow who you are to shine!

#2 You know who you are- The good, the bad, the ugly. When you know who you are no one tell you who you are, shame you or paint you in a negative light.

#3 Mind your business it’s the only one that pays you so mind yours!

#4 Move with confidence!

#5 Take care! Not just self-care but medical. Book those doctors appointments!

#6 Develop a skincare routine. As we get older the skin begins to dull, shift, and drop so take it up a notch, and not just the face, body too!

#7 Re-define your fashion style- don’t be afraid to try new looks, new colors, your size! Stop trying to fit in things you’ve outgrown

#8 Workout- Women’s bodies loose muscle and bone density as we get older so strength training is a must.

#9 Consume quality foods & beverages. The cleaner the ingriendents the better for the body. What we get out is what we put in high vibe foods are going to make you feel so much better.

#10 Take a really good look at your relationships-family, friends, whoever! If they are great hold on to those people if they’re not let them goooooo! It’s important to feel safe and be vulnerable. As we get older we need soft spaces to land and our relationships play a huge part in that.

#11 Have the courage to have hard conversations with people. If you can’t keep it real with people then you might want to reconsider the relationship.

#12 Career Pivot! If there is a passion you’ve been waiting and wanting pursue go for it! There’s a reason you’re inspired to do something. Go for it!

#13 Try therapy- Therapy has given me language and clarity for emotions that have dominated my life for many years. To be able to talk with a licensed professional who can give me guidance on how to navigate difficult life experiences has been validating and supported my healing.

#14 SEEK GOD! I believe God loves us and guides us through the life. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the love and grace of God. The times we’re living in are so dark and uncertain, we need guidance from the Creator! God knows us and wants us to trust him with our lives. When we seek, trust and move in the way God has planned nothing can stop his plans for our lives.

#15 Recognize that you will not be in the same place as most the people around you and that’s ok. Give them empathy, patience, and kindness but know that you don’t have to go their level.

#16 It’s ok to change your mind. What you wanted in your 20’s will not be the same things you want in your 40’s.

#17 Keep learning new things!

#18 8 hours of sleep! People always ask me how I look so young I say its because I go to sleep! Sleep is vital for mental, physical, and emotional recovery. Rest!

#19 Forgive your parents, they won’t always be alive, and you will miss them.

#20 Get your finances together! Pay your bills on time, invest. Find a financial advisor or talk to a friend who’s savvy with money, you won’t regret it!

#21 Give back through tithes, offering, and/or volunteering- God blesseth a cheerful giver!

#22 Be open to new ways of seeing things- A rigid mind is a small mind.

#23 Live alone- you’ll be happy you did!

#24 It’s ok to grieve the life you thought you would have by now-No husband that’s ok, no kids that’s ok too, still living in apartment that’s fine. Start where you are and know that you can create new dreams again.

#25 Set Intentions and then goals! Our culture puts heavy emphasis on goals and while that is a productive practice I’ve come to learn that also setting intentions allows me to be aware of my why. When I know my why even if my goal is not accomplished I can go into a thing or move on from a situation knowing that the intention was accomplished and be ok with that.

#26 You don’t owe anyone a explanation.

#27 Drinking alcohol is so overrated. A glass of wine with dinner is ok if you like but excessive drinks is just a bad idea. Your body doesn’t recover the same and the hangover last for way longer than it did in your 20’s and 30’s. Sparkling water please :)

#28 Curate a comfortable living space. Your home is a reflection of who you are it’s important that it feel safe, beautiful, and sacred.

#28 1/2 Don’t have everybody in your house! People are weird.

#29 Take PTO, you get it because you work for it. Take the time off.

#30 No one is coming to save you- Once I really sat with this it allowed me to let go of expectations and being disappointed.

#31 Forgive in your own time.

#32 You will be hurt by people.

#33 You will hurt people.

#34 Apologize and move on.

#37 The only person you can change is yourself.

#38 Be a leader- I’ve learned lessons I would’ve never learned had I never been in a leadership role. Leadership will allow you to think and interact with people in ways that cause you to see the bigger picture.

#39 No one owes you anything and vice versa.

#40 Never compromise yourself for someone else's comfort.

#41 Move in silence, stop telling folks your every move.

#42 Everybody won’t like you, and you need to be ok with that.

#43 It’s ok to care but let go. You will have experiences that will be hard to understand. Your heart and mind will want to try to solve them and there are some things you just have to let go of even though it hurts.

#44 Enjoy being single, you are the best company you will ever keep. Spend time with you!

#45 You can’t save everybody do what you can for people however know when to step back and say this isn’t battle to fight.

#46 Let go of the self-judgement. It’s not easy getting to this stage in life, you’ve done your best with the information and resources you have, now it’s time to move forward with grace, vision, and discipline to get to where you want to be.

I hope you find these tips to be a resource as you journey through life. No one has all the answers but if we can help each other just a little bit along the way we can be that much closer to finding our lite!

Live Lite,

Safia